Q Awards - I despair...

[piglit'n'rolf]

Just checked out the Q awards in todays Independent.

Best New Act: Corinne Bailey Rae
Best Track: "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley
Best Video: "When You Were Young" by The Killers
Q Inspiration Award: A-ha
Q Outstanding Contribution to Music: Smokey Robinson
Q Groundbreaker Award: Primal Scream
Q Icon Award: Jeff Lynne
Q Idol Award: Take That
Q Outstanding Performance: Faithless
Q Innovation in Sound: The Edge
Q Classic Songwriter: Noel Gallagher
Q Lifetime Achievement Award: Peter Gabriel
Q Merit Award: Manic Street Preachers
Q Classic Song: Karma Chameleon
Best Live Act: Muse
Best Album: Whatever People Say I Am That's What I'm Not by Arctic Monkeys
People's Choice Award: Arctic Monkeys
Best Act In The World Today: Oasis
Q Legend Award: The Who
Q Award of Awards: U2

Idol, Icon, Inspiration, Classic, Groundbreaking, Legend, Lifetime Achievement, Classic Song..... aren't all these sort of the same thing? When will they stop thinking up sycophantic catagories like this. I'm not one for kicking such magazines but don't they realise how stupid they look?

[Lady J]

Is it just me or have the Q awards had more national newspaper coverage than usual this year? Is it light relief from all the climate change depression?

I retract that. The Edge winning innovation in sound is infinitely more miserable.

[effi_deep]

Idol, Icon, Inspiration, Classic, Groundbreaking, Legend, Lifetime Achievement, Classic Song..... aren't all these sort of the same thing? When will they stop thinking up sycophantic catagories like this. I'm not one for kicking such magazines but don't they realise how stupid they look?

what are awards for anyway?!

[awoo]

i despair. i really do.

what gets me is most these people being called an "artist" thing.

if theyre in music surely theyre musicians??? oh no wait a minute, they cant plausibly be called musicians for what they do - so im guessing thats why theyre called artists instead. well its an insult to artists too in that case, just lowering the grade.

total bollox.

[piglit'n'rolf]

Is it just me or have the Q awards had more national newspaper coverage than usual this year? Is it light relief from all the climate change depression?

It's always baffled me that when a magazine gives out awards that becomes news to another publication - if they'd never given out such things before, fine, but it's hardly news when it happens every year like clockwork, it's cheap advertising. Why the independent dedicates half a page to such stuff, I just don't know?

[piglit'n'rolf]

what are awards for anyway?!

You know something; when faced with the question I have to simply say - I don't know. Recognition I suppose, but surely that is undermined by categories being manipulated.

[Col Wolfe]

Q Inspiration Award: A-ha

at last these guys get the total respect due to them

[aiff]

Q Award of Awards: U2

That is funniest. The award of awards. I don't think I quite understand that one.

[alanmck]

good to see the mainstream music press being driven by a desire to wirte about quality music, rather than the marketing department's demographic assessment of their target markets.

i can see the meeting now.

"no, you see, it's been 20 years since (insert name here) were famous, therefore, our theory is that there's an appetite amongst their fan-base for sepia-toned valedictory articles about them, hailing their at-the-time unsung genius, thus making thier fans feel vindicated, and we'll see our subscription ratings soar. and it's christmas, don't forget".

"you're talking about A-ha, aren't you"

(looks at floor, shuffles feet) "Y-yes".

cue slumping of shoulders all round the table, and the audible sound of careers shrivelling as quickly as the journo's sphincters as they realise that, when they go down the pub, they'll have glass smashed in their face by diappointed fans of living in a box

the only question i have is why bother being bothered by Q's outlook on life?

[dave_kinky]

Just checked out the Q awards in todays Independent.


Q Groundbreaker Award: Primal Scream

Q Idol Award: Take That
Q Outstanding Performance: Faithless
Q Innovation in Sound: The Edge
Q Classic Songwriter: Noel Gallagher

Best Act In The World Today: Oasis

Q Award of Awards: U2

No No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No
No

Groundbreaker - Primal Scream???!!! I like new album because it sounds like the New York Dolls

Classic - Oasis?? For being a Beatles rip-off fronted by two of the most arrogant tossers in the whole world???

NO!

[piglit'n'rolf]

That is funniest. The award of awards. I don't think I quite understand that one.

It is a marketing masterstroke. Next year they will have the "You haven't yet won an award this year, award"

[peretti]

You know something; when faced with the question I have to simply say - I don't know. Recognition I suppose, but surely that is undermined by categories being manipulated.

Well, award shows are very largely for the benefit of the brands hosting them. You get credibility by association with 'cool' artists, a veneer of authority by playing god and handing out gongs, tons of celeb content, ad, sponsorship and media rights revenues, a heap of publicity and you create lots of newsworthy discussion over who deserved what (see entire thread).

Add a People's Choice Award or some other reader-voted tosh and you can also claim to be doing the will of the people. Not to mention that all the people who got awards or nominations will be friends of the mag for ever more. Sometimes the winners are those with the cosiest relationship with the mag. So if Bono gives GQ a nice interview and takes a journo on tour with the band, chances are that he'll be up for GQ Man of the Year.

Metal Hammer Awards used to be fun -they regularly got so out of hand that the main problem was keeping stories out of the papers rather than getting publicity. All cleaned up now, sadly.

[eagerbeaver]

It's always baffled me that when a magazine gives out awards that becomes news to another publication - if they'd never given out such things before, fine, but it's hardly news when it happens every year like clockwork, it's cheap advertising. Why the independent dedicates half a page to such stuff, I just don't know?

Easy one

Because this is all about throwing a nice freebie (i.e. the "awards") to which the media are all invited, and since it's a free night out the hacks are then inclined to write good copy in their own publications. It also keeps the industry people sweet, and the "artists" themselves, therefore ensuring that Q is able to continue producing a p*ss-poor magazine with the smallest amount of effort and hassle.

[piglit'n'rolf]

Maybe there is an antidote to all of this; we could launch the

VV Awards!

Categories could be...

Best Charity Shop (branch)
Best Charity Shop (Chain)
Best Digger (must have at least two nominations before voting)
Best Album (new release)
Best Album (reissue or compilation)
Best Swap CD
Best Record Shop

and I'm sure there could be others...

Might be a laugh, we could present them all with a little trinket of some description.

[bongolia]

Most charity shops/boot sales 'dug'? (edit, just saw your 'Best Digger')
Best Cheese?
Best Sausage?
Best Beard?

[piglit'n'rolf]

Most charity shops/boot sales 'dug'?
Best Cheese?
Best Sausage?
Best Beard?

Definitely best beard!

or how about "Most strokable beard"?

[peretti]

Maybe there is an antidote to all of this; we could launch the

VV Awards!

Categories could be...

Best Charity Shop (branch)
Best Charity Shop (Chain)
Best Digger (must have at least two nominations before voting)
Best Album (new release)
Best Album (reissue or compilation)
Best Swap CD
Best Record Shop

and I'm sure there could be others...

Might be a laugh, we could present them all with a little trinket of some description.

Stinkiest Old Man Digger Award
Golden Booter Award for Sharpest Elbows
Most Creative Chazza Pricing Strategy
Most Patient Spouse Award
Best Fake Finds (we might have to make this an international category)
Lifetime Award for Unfailing Rudeness to Customers
Most Consistently Unintelligible VV Forum Poster
My Golden Arse Award (Sarge)

Winners get a 1985 copy of the RC price guide with all Chris Rea singles highlighted and annotated with indecipherable scribbles in several colours.

Runners up get the 2006 edition.

[barky redwood]

Maybe there is an antidote to all of this; we could launch the

VV Awards!

Categories could be...

[I]Best Charity Shop (branch)

Surely no-one will nominate their fave chazza because then it will get overrun with lurkers? People will purposely nominate crap ones...

er..I nominate the chazza in Leather Lane...lost count of the number of vinyl classics i've taken out of that one.

[piglit'n'rolf]

Surely no-one will nominate their fave chazza because then it will get overrun with lurkers? People will purposely nominate crap ones...

er..I nominate the chazza in Leather Lane...lost count of the number of vinyl classics i've taken out of that one.

Erm....yes, this would be a flaw in the plan

[piglit'n'rolf]

Most Consistently Unintelligible VV Forum Poster

I think the votings closed on this one....

[bongolia]

I think the votings closed on this one....

yeah, i never have a clue what Rich Hero's babbling on about...

[SARGE]

My Golden Arse Award (Sarge)

.

golden arse... this term pleases me for some reason.
not forgetting anal cunt award...............ahem.

[ginghamkitchen]

I've got as much interest in the Q awards as in, say, the Travel Agent Of The Year Awards or the Kwik-Fit Branch & Manager awards.

Like the idea of the VV awards - can I nominate Beddoes as 'most prolific poster' and Wallace in the 'most intriguingly incomprehensible' category?

[SARGE]

That is funniest. The award of awards. I don't think I quite understand that one.

its because u2 are so awesome

[medlar]

Don't forget Most Posts Award.

[bongolia]

Best Image Googling

[piglit'n'rolf]

Best avatar

My vote's going to the pink dog in the pumpkin patch (today)

[bongolia]

specially selected for Halloween. it being the 32nd October and DJ Wheeliebag's Halloween special tonight...

[Rich Hero]

the only question i have is why bother being bothered by Q's outlook on life?

Amen. Or, for Michael, hrrufffllffluffellllligggggghhommmpphhhhhrrrrgggha woogahhh.

[benjamin hatton]

hrrufffllffluffellllligggggghhommmpphhhhhrrrrgggh.

Rich, have you given Wallace your log-in details??