I thought I'd keep things simple as I've a lot on and should be working but always welcome an opportunity to procrastinate, and besides it's this sort of nonsense that keep me hanging about here when I much don't much care for prog or on-line jousts and jibes ( if I'm not spiraling in a contradictory vortex of my own making by making that remark ).
Anyway so, I took my £10 . . .
. . . and headed to my most local of Charity Shops.
First up, basically at the top of the road I live on, a charidee in the classic style - the good old sally army . . .
This yielded my most ugly / interesting objet d'art, a small blue vase with "The Lizard" scored into the glaze . . .
. . . for the proper job price of 30p . . .
I know it's just a piece of tat from a place in Cornwall, but if you didn't know there was a place called "The Lizard", plus the fact that a tiny sticker inside said it was made in Ireland, it put me in skewed mind of a Sarge post.
Next, an anecdote. Well not really, more of an overheard one-way conversation. A middle aged man in a red fleece burst in and proclaimed to no-one in particular, "I went to Bath Social Club last night - It were like World War Three. Talk about trying to get a quiet night." He then looked at some shirts and then he left, as noisily as he had appeared.
I decided to buy anything that caught my eye for the flimsiest of reasons til I'd no tenner left. First one was probably the best and most appropriate of the bunch . . .
Tom Jones - Close Up
A record listed in the old TJ VV article, and notable for three tracks, 'Time To Get It Together', 'Kiss An Angel Good Morning' ( both Xian themed light funkers ) and my favourite 'Witch Queen Of New Orleans'. As Vic and Bob noted in one of their finest hours, cheese has long been associated with Voodoo.
My choice thing from Charities is novelties, oddities and spoken word - I'm a sucker for anything like that so I had to pick up . . .
Now, I hate Noel as much as the next person, and I know his 'funny' phone converstions aren't, but the rich voices on here, including Clement Freud; Ian Carmichael; Patrick Moore; Bernard Cribbins and Richard Baker, are ripe for some messing about with and the fact that it's got Penelope Keith reading a story called 'Crenelations' on it makes it worth my pound alone. Actually I'd probably pay a pound just to hear her say, 'Crenelations', but I digress.
I also spy a double budget Elvis compilation, which I buy mainly on the strength that the previous owner coloured in every other one of E.A.P.'s teeth with a bic, making him look strangely like a friend of mine called Ben ( strange because Ben doesn't have any missing teeth, and under normal conditons would be very unlikely to be compared to The King ) . . .
I also quiet like the version of '(Marie's the Name) His Latest Flame' on here that The Smiths ripped off for 'Rusholme Ruffians'. I also quite like The Smiths and early Morrissey, which I suspect puts me in a minority of one on this board, but hey ho.
Next I walk into Town and a couple of adjacent shops that I suspect won't be on other Bristol VG+s challenge route ( not cos they're any sort of secret squirrels, more because there are actually much better shops elsewhere in the city and I'm just being lazy and staying close to home ).
First of the two, Tenovus . . .
As expected, nothing.
There's a Demis Roussos 'Forever and Ever' which I consider considering for it's sleeveface, but as I've got about 4 copies anyway I leave it.
Woman with four kids rushes in and says with superhuman speed :"there-was-a-thing-a-thing-what-was-in-the-window-two-of-them-have-theys-gone-what-you-don't-even-work-here-do-you?"
Assistant : "I do work here but only on Saturdays"
Assistant : "I don't know I only work here on Saturdays"
I leave for next door, St Peter's Hospice . . .
First thing I see is that there's a family of 3 going through the record section, the mum seems to leading the way. Dad is on crutches. I bide my time looking at the objets d'art, and spot a fairly realistic toy gun with a sound chip that goes off with the trigger - this in turn triggers a memory of a conversation with a mate who has a small step son saying that guns as toys are more of a problem now because when we were kids it was all fantasy and aping films, but now teenagers are actually getting shot - concluding ( like lego used too ) that historical weapons were the way to play it, though the kid couldn't get why swords are ok, but guns aren't. I suggested muskets, just to confuse the issue.
The Diggin Family are still trawling the vinyl section so I go to look for a boring book. this'll do . . .
Incidentally I noticed this one in Sally Army, with a cover illustration that kinda looks like Doctor Who . . .
The Family move on and I swoop down and leaf through . . .
I'm determined to get rid of my Tenner and head home so grasp at anything . . .
Best of Sparks, why not?
Next choice is a mildly interesting budget label thing that I'm not sure has been mentioned here before . . .
It's a sci-fi themes / disco cash-in that has a lot of that ( to me ) unlistenable thin sci-fi disco, but an amusing ( to me ) take on the Star Wars theme that sounds like it is in the style of Queen recording the Flash Gordon soundtrack and as the record occasionally features a theremin and more 'spacey' library style arrangements from Les Baxter it's quite fun.
Then some 45s to make up the rest . . .
Feeding my spoken word habit with . . .
Kinda right in it's wrongness, a contemporary Top of The Pops Pastiche . . .
Almost think twice about this because of the midget reference, silly as it seems I don't want to open up THAT cans of worms again! I decided against getting involved in all that hoo-hah when it was going off here, and I and don't want to again now, but as a general, sort of related, aside, if anyone's interested, I am firmly in the camp of "these days it's all ANTI-PC gone mad", and am worried for the future when people like Clarkson and Johnson are considered by anyone to be funny and / or popular. Not a dig at anyone on here ( unless they are lurkers ), but I really hate those two. Anyway, I like this because if you play it at 33 it slows Bridget's voice to the speed it was recorded, and for the same reason . . .
The Smurf Song, even though it's basically unlistenable at any speed.
At this point a 6 year old girl had found the gun and started shooting at me, with great delight. Her embarrassed mother apologises and herds her into in the scarf area.
Next 7" I find is . . .
Funky Town - Lipps Inc, which I buy for no better reason than I heard in a Futurama episode commentary recently that Matt Groening finds this song hilarious. That'll do for me.
I spot a Billie Jo Spears 45 that I buy in the hope of it being a bit funky rather than ballady . . .
. . . it isn't.
Sparks' 'Beat The Clock' . . .
Presumably from the same owner as the comp. Why not?
And finally reach the end of my tenner with M's Pop Muzik in a plain sleeve . . .
I make my way to the till, and this is the result, for your records . . .
So taking into account my haul from the first shop my tenner's gone.
No disguise, studio2stereo, or Breakthrough action on my trip, but on the way back I spot my friend Hannah in a cafe who helps me out with a bit of sleevefacing . . .
I think I've basically got a load of tat, and basically still do, but she excitedly claps her hands at the thought of 'Pop Muzik', which cheers me up and almost feels a bit like djing without decks and reminds me that the whole point of the exercise is that there's cheap fun to be had in accumulating cheerful rubbish . . .
Finally, and I wasn't sure how this fitted into the £10 narrative, but along the way I spotted this cordoned off beauty . . .
. . . sporting this helpful note . . .
I particularly enjoy the unorthodox underlining style - or is it just a liberal sprinkling of equals signs?
That is all.
Edit : Tho added from below . . .