I'm well 'ard me, & proper BAD (rap related)

[BoneyVotel]

"I'm notorious & I crush you like a jelly bean."

Come on L.L. raise your game, I was crushing jelly tots and opal fruits in play school, it 'ain't no big thing.


Add on with stoopid claims from 'ard rapping dudes! dudes

[Tom B]

Not quite on point, but this BDP gem got stuck in my head recently:

"A lot of MCs like to use the word dramatical".

Have you ever heard the word dramatical used by any rapper apart from KRS1?

"I'm notorious & I crush you like a jelly bean."

Come on L.L. raise your game, I was crushing jelly tots and opal fruits in play school, it 'ain't no big thing.


Add on with stoopid claims from 'ard rapping dudes! dudes

[john stapleton]

"I'm the King of Boggle, there is none higher. I got eleven points off the word 'quagmire'."

[ashra]

I eat more food than a fish can eat fish food
In other words i'm simply one cool dude

[BoneyVotel]

Not quite on point, but this BDP gem got stuck in my head recently:

"A lot of MCs like to use the word dramatical".

Have you ever heard the word dramatical used by any rapper apart from KRS1?

Indeed Tom.
Considering I was briefly known as M.C. Mathamatical, I must have taken a sabatical, 'cause i never rhymed...............

[BoneyVotel]

I eat more food than a fish can eat fish food
In other words i'm simply one cool dude

Who wrote dis prose Ash, I gotta know......

[alanmck]

Few have set the bar quite as low as Justin Warfield:

I'm never fake
I'm never phoney
I've got more flavour than a packet of macaroni.

Here's my rewrite;
My metre's crisp
My rhyming dazzles
I've got more flavour than a packet of frazzles.

[ashra]

Who wrote dis prose Ash, I gotta know......

Find me a better rap record than this and i'll eat me Kangol

[kestrel blazer]

I once had the misfortune to be in a house when Project Pat was proclaiming "I'm hungry for cheese like Hungry Hungry Hippo."

[benjamin hatton]

"This is Nas,kid, you know how it runs,
I'm waving automatic guns at nuns"

[No, LordNo]

I once had the misfortune to be in a house when Project Pat was proclaiming "I'm hungry for cheese like Hungry Hungry Hippo."

Classic. Project is a legend.

[DOKO*ENO]

"I Like My Beats Hard, Like Two Day Old shit"

[Brass Monkey]

Quality I possess some say I'm fresh
When my voice goes through the mesh
Of the microphone that I am holdin'
Copywritten lyrics so they can't be stolen
If they are snap
Don't need the police to try to save them
Your voice will sink so please stay off my back
Or I will attack and you don't want that

OK mr snap, I most certainly don't want that, leave me alone.

[Snoop God]

"i'll put a spider in your orange squash"

[jahshabby]

Few have set the bar quite as low as Justin Warfield:

I'm never fake
I'm never phoney
I've got more flavour than a packet of macaroni.

Always wondered about that, as, without an accompanying sauce, macaroni is quite flavourless.

Here's how you get macaroni into a rhyme

My heroes were never Vito Corleones,
Me and my cronies,
we never tried to be the macaroni,
That style is phony

It doesn't look like it should work but it does

My favourite hip hop album ever

[eric-adams]

Nicked from snacks and shit

"Guess who's back in the motherfuckin' house, with a fat dick for your motherfuckin' mouth?"

- Snoop Dogg, Ain't No Fun


Note to myself: Take Snoop off of my Evite list. He's the worst houseguest of all time.

"Waitin' on the rizzle the dizzle and the shizzle."
- Snoop Dogg, Drop It Like It's Hot

There are nine words in this sentence. And three of them well... aren't words. So I guess there are just six words.

Needless to say, Snoop is going to be waiting for a while...

"Hey where's Snoop?"
"Oh, he's waiting on the rizzle, the dizzle, and the shizzle."
"Hey, I'm never hanging out with you again."
"Okay."

[emperor tomato ketchup]

"I'm notorious & I crush you like a jelly bean."

Come on L.L. raise your game, I was crushing jelly tots and opal fruits in play school, it 'ain't no big thing.


Add on with stoopid claims from 'ard rapping dudes! dudes

I think you will find that his use of the word like means this is some form of simile. Obviously crushing a jelly tot is easy but LL is able to crush human beings with the same ease therefore the comparison.

[emperor tomato ketchup]

Your record biz’s a charade
agreements were made,
a 45 you said you’d trade
If me you’ve played
your reputation will fade.
You’re gonna need first aid
after your blood is sprayed.

[Brass Monkey]

I think you will find that his use of the word like means this is some form of simile. Obviously crushing a jelly tot is easy but LL is able to crush human beings with the same ease therefore the comparison.

I wonder if it is easy to crush jelly tots you know. They have a hard outer casing. We may be doing him a disservice here.

[Rich Hero]

Always wondered about that, as, without an accompanying sauce, macaroni is quite flavourless.

I remember the explanation was that Justin was rapping about some sort of instant macaroni cheese, similar to ramen noodles. The cheese flavour came in a packet and was so strong you wouldn't want to add a whole sachet. A bit like salt'n'shake then. Yeah, don't mess with Justin...

[eine]

This is getting wack. Jelly beans have a hard outer casing - and that's what Cool J can crush human beings like.

Jelly tots have a soft outer casing.

It would thus be more impressive to crush a human being like a jelly tot, rather than a jelly bean.

MCs, take heed.

[ginghamkitchen]

I'd like to see him crush a Rowntrees fruit gum. Even teeth can't do that.

[eric-adams]

I'd like to see him crush a grape.

i bet he isnt that hard

[medlar]

i bet he isnt that hard

Now, if he could peel a grape that would be something different entirely

[emperor tomato ketchup]

I'd like to see him crush a Rowntrees fruit gum. Even teeth can't do that.

Do you actually see everything through some mid 70s sweets 'n'TV lens?

If so where can I get such a thing?

[ashra]

Could he jump over a wendy house?

[ginghamkitchen]

Do you actually see everything through some mid 70s sweets 'n'TV lens?

If so where can I get such a thing?

Check signature for details.

[emperor tomato ketchup]

Check signature for details.

I imagine your kids are barefoot and malnourished as for breakfast they only get authenthic vintage early 80s Ready Brek bought at great expense on ebay.

[ginghamkitchen]

I'm not really a mental retronaut, I just like films and stuff from that era. If my kids are starving it's not from nostalgia but from neglect, pure and simple.

[Headless mermaid]

I think you will find that his use of the word like means this is some form of simile. Obviously crushing a jelly tot is easy but LL is able to crush human beings with the same ease therefore the comparison.

Yes, that's what a metaphor is, innit?