The Olympic Opening Ceremony

**pitch** · 23-07-2012, 11:45 PM

Blimey - just back from seeing the technical dress rehearsals. I'm not kidding but that was incredible. I won't give anything away but just to say it's Blakian in vision, Russellesque and Potteresque in execution and, well, pure Boyle in terms of the cinematic epic quality. UK's music tradition lie's at it's heart and has some stunning collages created and curated by Underworld throughout. Like Christopher Nolan - he demonstrates that to appeal to the masses you don't need to dumb down.

And there was a glimpse of the Wicker Man too!

Do make sure you catch it on Friday night - love it or hate it - you'll have to park cynicism to one side for a couple of hours and just immerse yourself in the spectacle. Just hope it doesn't rain.....

**Brainbomb** · 23-07-2012, 11:51 PM

But did you have to pour your crisps into a neutral bag?

**pitch** · 23-07-2012, 11:59 PM

Originally Posted by Brainbomb

But did you have to pour your crisps into a neutral bag?

No disappointingly - and they didn't bat an eyelid at my colleague's Nike trainers....... must try harder!

**Brainbomb** · 24-07-2012, 12:04 AM

Try walking in with a Pepsi - that should have security shooting teargas at you...

**ashra** · 24-07-2012, 12:15 AM

Try wearing this:

**pitch** · 24-07-2012, 12:30 AM

Originally Posted by pitch

I won't give anything away but just to say it's Blakian in vision, Russellesque and Potteresque in execution and, well, pure Boyle in terms of the cinematic epic quality.

That's Blake from Blake's 7, Jane Russell and Beatrix Potter....... for those at the back.

Actually that works pretty well too...

**Brainbomb** · 24-07-2012, 01:18 AM

Originally Posted by pitch

That's Blake from Blake's 7, Jane Russell and Beatrix Potter....... for those at the back.

Actually that works pretty well too...

Dang - I'd hoped for Howard, Bertrand and Dennis...

**babycart** · 24-07-2012, 11:13 AM

Will there be ponies?

**Brainbomb** · 24-07-2012, 12:24 PM

Originally Posted by babycart

Will there be ponies?

There will be ponies - they act as detectives in a musical based on the Flash Gordon soundtrack, arguing against religion.

**pitch** · 24-07-2012, 01:39 PM

Originally Posted by babycart

Will there be ponies?

Giant ponies

**Brainbomb** · 24-07-2012, 01:45 PM

Sorry we're not taking this seriously Pitch.

I'm sure it will look spectacular - how could it not as all these spectacles need to triumph over previous years.

**pitch** · 24-07-2012, 01:49 PM

No need to apologise! I think the main intention of the show is to poke good natured fun at various targets - that's what is refreshing!

**babycart** · 24-07-2012, 02:52 PM

Mandeville and Wenlock, two oddly-shaped skag addicts. find LOADS OF DRUGS! "We're millionaires!" they shout gleefully. However they are then chased round a totally deserted London city centre by lots of zombie mafia ponies to thumping techno music. Mandeville gets his foot trapped by a rock and, after endless techno-scored flashbacks, has to cut it off before the two are trapped in a public lavatory with a toilet brimming with shit. Then there's more techno and running. The lovable mascots are finally caught by the ponies and interogated by CHRIS TARRANT but flashbacks to their life experiences mean they win and become MILLIONAIRES! Then they fly to the sun.

**LDJB** · 24-07-2012, 03:32 PM

Originally Posted by babycart

Mandeville and Wenlock, two oddly-shaped skag addicts. find LOADS OF DRUGS! "We're millionaires!" they shout gleefully. However they are then chased round a totally deserted London city centre by lots of zombie mafia ponies to thumping techno music. Mandeville gets his foot trapped by a rock and, after endless techno-scored flashbacks, has to cut it off before the two are trapped in a public lavatory with a toilet brimming with shit. Then there's more techno and running. The lovable mascots are finally caught by the ponies and interogated by CHRIS TARRANT but flashbacks to their life experiences mean they win and become MILLIONAIRES! Then they fly to the sun.

Spot on but you forgot about their time in a palatial Edinburgh new town flat with a dead 'comedian' in the next room...with techno and drugs...

**ninja simone** · 24-07-2012, 03:42 PM

Originally Posted by pitch

That's Blake from Blake's 7, Jane Russell and Beatrix Potter....... for those at the back.

Actually that works pretty well too...

Oh well, I'd naturally assumed Blakey from On the Buses, Russell Grant and Pansy Potter from The Beano. If it is in fact Ken Russell you refer to then I, for one, am not fully convinced that the sight of two 100ft high bo**ock-naked fibre-glass robot-men wrestling in front of a giant 3D projection of a blazing fireplace will go down so well with certain viewers in say, bible-belt America, Iran, Saudi Arabia, etc.

How did you qualify to see the dress-rehersal Steve - was it exclusively for people involved in the general organisation of the Olympics? And how exactly were you all 'sworn to silence'?

**babycart** · 24-07-2012, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by ninja simone

I, for one, am not fully convinced that the sight of two 100ft high bo**ock-naked fibre-glass robot-men wrestling in front of a giant 3D projection of a blazing fireplace will go down so well with certain viewers in say, bible-belt America, Iran, Saudi Arabia, etc.

If there isn' a gigantic Cerne Abbas giant with Adele singing on its bell-end I want my money back

**pitch** · 24-07-2012, 04:14 PM

Originally Posted by ninja simone

Oh well, I'd naturally assumed Blakey from On the Buses, Russell Grant and Pansy Potter from The Beano. If it is in fact Ken Russell you refer to then I, for one, am not fully convinced that the sight of two 100ft high bo**ock-naked fibre-glass robot-men wrestling in front of a giant 3D projection of a blazing fireplace will go down so well with certain viewers in say, bible-belt America, Iran, Saudi Arabia, etc.

How did you qualify to see the dress-rehersal Steve - was it exclusively for people involved in the general organisation of the Olympics? And how exactly were you all 'sworn to silence'?

Amazing how all the guessed scenarios are so on the money! You guys have obviously found some secret grainy footage out there.

Tickets were made available to everyone who lives in the 5 adjoining London Boroughs - each council got an allocation which they handed out in a lottery. Also families of volunteers, emergency and armed services, plus those working behind the scenes, and the likes of me who worked for one of the key sponsors. Another rehearsal tomorrow night........

**ginghamkitchen** · 24-07-2012, 04:19 PM

Originally Posted by babycart

If there isn' a gigantic Cerne Abbas giant with Adele singing on its bell-end I want my money back

Don't you mean you want my money back? You ex-pats are al the same, banging on about your winter fuel allowance while you sit around the pool in your speedos.

**Brainbomb** · 24-07-2012, 04:26 PM

Hasn't Babycart once posted a pic of himself eating cheese in speedos here?

I seem to remember that... though it could've been a nightmare...

**babycart** · 24-07-2012, 05:18 PM

Originally Posted by ginghamkitchen

Don't you mean you want my money back? You ex-pats are al the same, banging on about your winter fuel allowance while you sit around the pool in your speedos.

If you only knew the trouble I've got into re the WFA.
I merely pointed out that we live in subtropical Africa and, at most, require a winter light cardigan allowance, and I nearly got lynched.
I have never been caught in Speedos, always preferring the type of classic trunk that Daniel Craig totally copied off me. And pools are full of piss and chlorine and generally much colder than Mother Ocean.
I did once post a photo of me enjoying some cheese, but I believe I was wearing slacks and a short-sleeved shirt in it.

**JGBollard** · 24-07-2012, 06:59 PM

Originally Posted by babycart

Mandeville and Wenlock, two oddly-shaped skag addicts. find LOADS OF DRUGS! "We're millionaires!" they shout gleefully. However they are then chased round a totally deserted London city centre by lots of zombie mafia ponies to thumping techno music. Mandeville gets his foot trapped by a rock and, after endless techno-scored flashbacks, has to cut it off before the two are trapped in a public lavatory with a toilet brimming with shit. Then there's more techno and running. The lovable mascots are finally caught by the ponies and interogated by CHRIS TARRANT but flashbacks to their life experiences mean they win and become MILLIONAIRES! Then they fly to the sun.

Originally Posted by LDJB

Spot on but you forgot about their time in a palatial Edinburgh new town flat with a dead 'comedian' in the next room...with techno and drugs...

Epilogue:

In a squalid council flat in North Manchester a guy who used to be Doctor Who dances with a girl I went to college with (who for no apparent reason happens to be completely naked) before crashing the set of Top of the Pops.

Meanwhile door to door salesman Timothy Spall wonders why they only have one oxygen farm on the spaceship before being killed by marijuana farmers. Cue Oasis sound tracked stop motion montage.

(Well someone had to take this joke onto it's "natural" conclusion didn't they?

)

**medlar** · 24-07-2012, 09:38 PM

Sorry Pitch, if it is as crap as the Queen's jubilee thingy....

Still, Adele singing atop the Cerne Abbas' fine member, I'll be watching

**pitch** · 25-07-2012, 12:03 AM

Originally Posted by JGBollard

Epilogue:

In a squalid council flat in North Manchester a guy who used to be Doctor Who dances with a girl I went to college with (who for no apparent reason happens to be completely naked) before crashing the set of Top of the Pops.

Meanwhile door to door salesman Timothy Spall wonders why they only have one oxygen farm on the spaceship before being killed by marijuana farmers. Cue Oasis sound tracked stop motion montage.

(Well someone had to take this joke onto it's "natural" conclusion didn't they?

)

I have to honestly say most of these characters and scenarios (except possibly the girl you went to college with) could well feature.

**pitch** · 25-07-2012, 12:04 AM

Originally Posted by medlar

Sorry Pitch, if it is as crap as the Queen's jubilee thingy....

Still, Adele singing atop the Cerne Abbas' fine member, I'll be watching

You'll be surprised Mr 'Bah Humbug' Medlar - I assure you of that at least

**medlar** · 25-07-2012, 07:39 AM

Originally Posted by pitch

You'll be surprised Mr 'Bah Humbug' Medlar - I assure you of that at least

I'll take your word for it

**highland cow** · 26-07-2012, 07:55 AM

Attention to detail is always important.

**Rich Hero** · 29-07-2012, 07:50 PM

I'm surprised that it's Sunday afternoon and I'm the first to comment after the event. I thought that was truly amazing. Well, apart from the teams arriving (I pottered around while they marched in, and consequently missed the Nazi salute kerfuffle). If I ever find myself in a situation where my life flashes before my eyes I hope to engage Danny Boyle's services as director as he's eminently qualified. Just trying to recall the highlights is akin to the final round of the Generation Game but for me, cynic that I am, even the parts that seemed slightly incongruous just added to the whole rather than spoiling the spectacle and it managed to completely neutralise all thoughts of the sponsors and cost and queues and so on, while it was onscreen.

Those discords included Kenneth Branagh's Isambard Kingdom Brunel reminding me of 'Wild Wild West'. Then again, if he'd reappeared at the end of the ceremony piloting a huge mechanical spider I wouldn't have batted an eye. The flag bearers, including Shami Chakrabarti, Daniel Barenboim, Doreen Lawrence and Muhammad Ali passing the flag to members of the armed forces for its final leg to the flagpole was quite a jarring juxtaposition. Perhaps that was precisely the point. The first group brought to mind the thief's companions in 'Holy Mountain'. And seeing how cruelly time has treated Muhammad Ali these days is painful. ...What happened to the intro to 'Hey Jude'? That minor fluff merely served to underline how incredible it was that everything else went so smoothly.

As for the highs, that was pretty much the rest of the show, right from Johnny Rotten singing 'God Save The Queen and the Eastenders duff duffs opened the proceedings to the final, breathtaking raising of the cauldron (that was stunning). There were so many things that Danny Boyle could have picked to represent why Britain is great and I thought his selections were spot on (well, maybe not Mr Bean). The segment depicting the NHS and children's literature could have been sickly sweet. Instead, it was wonderful, as was The Kaos Signing Choir singing and signing the National Anthem. But my one absolute highlight was the flash of David Niven and Kim Hunter from a 'Matter Of Life And Death' during the teenage love story.

My only moans were the largely unnecessary commentary from Sue Barker, Trevor Nelson and Huw Edwards. The only time I valued their chatter was the observation that pandemonium was coined by Milton for the capital of Hell in 'Paradise Lost'. But that was beyond the director's control. And the other gripe was that my television wasn't big enough. Then again, I don't think any medium has yet been invented to relay that spectacle.

Bravo Danny Boyle.

**SirSlim** · 29-07-2012, 09:24 PM

Originally Posted by Rich Hero

But my one absolute highlight was the flash of David Niven and Kim Hunter from a 'Matter Of Life And Death' during the teenage love story.

Yes, that was a highlight as was the pogoing on stilts to "pretty vacant" and the swing dance version of "tubular bells"

**babycart** · 29-07-2012, 09:34 PM

Originally Posted by Rich Hero

But my one absolute highlight was the flash of David Niven and Kim Hunter from a 'Matter Of Life And Death' during the teenage love story.

I wondered why they included a clip of the kiss from Planet of the Apes, a completely American film based on a French book - I decided it must have been a nod to that earlier clip with Kim Hunter.
I also thought it was great, and even watched all the teams arrive.
The best bit was the urban flying rats of peace.

**Ian Townsend** · 29-07-2012, 09:45 PM

Tedious reading about the event being negatively compared with the Beijing opener.

Refreshing to read the way Chinese artist Ai Weiwei compared the twoLink to full article here

Brilliant. It was very, very well done. This was about Great Britain; it didn't pretend it was trying to have global appeal. Because Great Britain has self-confidence, it doesn't need a monumental Olympics. But for China that was the only imaginable kind of international event. Beijing's Olympics were very grand – they were trying to throw a party for the world, but the hosts didn't enjoy it. The government didn't care about people's feelings because it was trying to create an image.

In London, they really turned the ceremony into a party – they are proud of themselves and respect where they come from, from the industrial revolution to now. I never saw an event before that had such a density of information about events and stories and literature and music; about folktales and movies.