Great Records I Have Vandalised

[nosoul]

oh jus remembered ..just got a parcel of 6 45s all shit apart from hodges, jones and smith 'nobody' on mpingo, was in my mates shop pulled the records out the cardboard mailer and dropped em all ,the 45s landed in a harmless stack except the 'nobody' which flipped out and landed funny takin a big chunk outta it..sods law whyyyy me why???

[teddyrosso]

When I was about 5 years old, I took my stepdad's records out of the sleeves and placed about 30 or 40 records out on the wooden floor in a linear order. I did not tramp on them but he was pretty pissed when he came home from work. I guess one day my future kid is gonna revenge me

[sermad]

I was opening a 'madame claude' ost and I dont know how I did it but I dropped a big hoofing knife onto it and it stuck in it.

I think I gave that to someone here!

What else.

I scratched one side of 'Vocal Patterns' on dewolfe with the light that comes with the technics 1210!

What else.

I dj'd on jazzmans radio show the other week and scratched my pyrhana lp all down one side (the good side!) with the stylus.

Christ. Ive got loads. Butterfingers buni

[pokester]

'Hook'n'Sling' or 'We're Doin' It (The Thang)'? (Or any of countless others? ).

It was just hook and sling .

don't realy miss it.

[leebrady]

I djed for a xmas party last year tryed to play my most accesible stuff to not offend but was kicked off after only 5 tracks to someone playin 80's Diana ross ultravox and 80's bowie
Anyway the last tune I played was Spanky Wilson "sunshine of your love" from a mint original copy. The next day when I then was filing my vinyl away with a beastly hangover I checked the vinyl 1/2 inch of the track was completely smashed all the vinyl on that part was gone it was just white

That fucked me off bigtime and i'll never replace that cos it's too expensive and not the gear i'm rockin at the mo

[bodger]

A friend of mine had countless records stacked up along the floor against the wall of his living room. Another friend who enjoyed a drink (or ten) stayed on the sofa in said living room. He suffered from a weak bladder (you can see what's coming). The record friend awoke the next day to find his records in the living room to be rather damp - although the guy with the weak bladder denied any knowledge. To be fair he never really looked after these anyway - one time my brother found one out of it's sleeve under the living room carpet!

[Viva Chiba]

Reminds me of my brother. He used to get wasted and ended up trying to go to bed with his girlfriend's parents when he slept over at her house. . . about 6 months ago he thought it would be a good idea to try and vault over somebody's windscreen - and instead ended up falling through it. Ended up in hospital with a 6" scar. . .

This man does not collect records.

[Mr Muench]

On a recent B&B stay with a couple of mates i awoke to find one of them urinating freely on the end of my bed.....! then he just went back to bed/sleep and left me in a damp warm bed.... not nice. He denied all knowledge in the morning.

[bodger]

I did this once, in my bedroom all over a desk!! Did'nt remember a thing until I had to start clearing it up (as a girl was due round very shortly ). It was pre-vinyl collecting days so no resulting cover stains... (sorry to lower the tone )

[maWhie]

many years ago before I had respect for my vinyl, I wrote and drew all over my copy of streetsounds crucial electro with UV marker, looks quite cool if you play it under UV light but sounds pretty darn crackly.

you live and learn

I also have old video footage of my mate eating curry with a 7" luckily it was only a copy of don quixote by nik kershaw.

[wallace]

Well me son, it 'appened loike dis:
Ah - bein' meeself,Wallace - were down at me digs (next the ashram down Chelsea way) wiv awl Morrison at me side, we be scrubbin' down me prized copy o' Bathtub Shitter's latest. Rubbin' it awl Jim-dandy-spankin'-loike in lukewarm soapies, when, feck me fer a fecktard, 'endricks him bends ower an' dis cube o' pure sodium which him were attemptin' ter insert -along wiv sum powdered rhino an' unicorn hoof- up his shnoz, feckin' well falls inter the soapy watter.
By reason o' one o' the laws o' thermodynamics, a bleedin' exothermic-bollox of a reaction results an' the watter 'eats up terrible loike (eneuch fer Jimmy #1 ter exclaim, "This is truely The End,my friend. The End.") an' it proceeds ter melt an' soften me precious vinyl!
Ah needs not tells yer I were more than juist a wee bit inna quandary juist that moment.
Now by the whim o' a crewel gawd above, juist den we had -awl tree o' us - been watchin' "Un Chien Andolou" -mesell havin' th' origernal film runnin' through th' awld dinosaur projector.
Well son, ter cuts it shart, ah swipes up me precious vinyl (now a bleedin' amorphous mass) in a vain attempt ter persarve what ah kin.
Juist as the surreally-loolally gaffer up on th' screen be laying himsell down onna Paris road ,one end o' the mass o' soft vinyl gets taken up th' spool an' run inter th' gawddern gears o' th' wazzack projector. Th' orther end o' the steamin' mass attatches ter me astonerished tongue (as ah gapes in wild-eyen , open-mawed amaze) an' pulls it inter said feckin' projector's innards.
Ah trooly 'ope yer gettin'a mental pitchur o' the seriousnesh o' th' sitcheratioon ah were in.
Well, the end o' it t'were that me precious Bathtub Shitters lp, an' me ain tongue ends up pressed an' charred next th' flamin' projector bulb.

"I 'ates it when that 'appens!"

[babycart]

"I 'ates it when that 'appens!"

That's the first person singular! Is this the end of an era?

[Belson]

That's the first person singular! Is this the end of an era?

Nah - he's reverted back to his old writing style - I got half way through and gave up.

[wallace]

That's the first person singular! Is this the end of an era?

Glad to see someone is keeping an eye out for Wallace, but its Wallace's sorry duty to inform you that the "I" was in quotes.
Have you never heard Billy Crystal's hilarious routine? (Out on vinyl too, or so Wallace believes.)