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  • Spoken Word oddness

    In no particular order, and not necessarily recommending them, just pointing them out, for odd spoken word LP's, here are a few from my collection....

    'Step up your selling - A study in the art of carpet salesmanship' with Pete murray, Wendy Craig & Peter Swinscoe. Including a section titled 'Wendy Craig and what a woman looks for in a carpet salesman'

    'Relax with Reveen' well known hypnotist, love the quote on the back 'For personal use only - not for entertainment purposes.' !? No worries therer then...

    'An adventure into the unknown that catapults the mind and body into SOMETHING WEIRD a boiling bizarre tale of a wild sound that crashes through the supernatural' bit of a cheat this one cos its got lots of music on it by death goth grunge metal bands, including such enticing and engaging titles as 'vomit orgy', 'switchblade circumcision','face in a meatslicer' and 'sharp axe climax'. But between the musical masterpieces are dialogue clips from b movies and sci fi films of what must be the 50's & 60's. TOP QUALITY SPOKEN WORD.

    'How to C.B.' - 'The new record that makes it easy to learn the new slanguage of CB'

    How to speak Swahili - self explanitory really.

    'Garden talk' - 'Eight leading British gardeners talk about the art of making and caring for a beautiful garden.' Talk about knowing yer onions... ZZZZZZZ

    'Darlinda reveals the Tarot' - 'The seventh child of a seventh daughter, Darlinda possesses remarkable psychic powers.' but can't spell... This ones signed on the back... 'To Angela best wishes for the future - Darlinda' ? ? Surely she knows the future?

    'Live with love' - 'A comprehensive guide to sexual behaviour, the facts, the problems and the answers by Doctor Keith Cammeron Vol 1'

    'Journeys inside the mind' Sidney Poiter recites the dialogues of Plato over the music of Fred Katz - not strictly spoken word but it's great!

    'Make your bird a star' - A teach your bird to talk record, repeating hollywood stars catch phrases over and over again....

    'A must for every parent & child - A never talk to stranger 48 page colouring book and full length recording' - ' This will help you learn the most important safety lesson of all - Body safety.' very very disturbing anti kiddie fiddler stuff. No Colouring book i'm afraid.

    'Talking Budgerigars with Phillip Marsden' Imagine Mr Chumley-Warner lecturing you in the joys of teaching Budgies to talk, and you've got this record. Includes a section on choosing the right bird...

    'Marjoe' religious crisis of confidence LP. Seems like this guy is proper bonkers, a preacher when he was 4 years old ! (There's a recording of him marrying people on this record, as a 4 year old ! ) ! and this would appear to be him after he has gone through adolescence and become a young man, to realise that what he did when he was so young may not necessarily be right, but, because he knows nothing else, decides to ask for forgiveness and keeps on preaching / performing for a living. To be honest it's hard to sit through this one, and my interpretation may not but 100% acurate, but he sure is screwed in the head this guy, and trying to come to terms with himself and what he's done....
    In ((( VISUAL ))) Stereo

    Eclectic Mud



  • #2
    I'm seeing a theme here with all the "Teach your Budgie to talk" records....
    I don't know any of the records but i want them....especially the gardening one....sounds relaxing
    The question i got for all you spoken word freaks is why do you buy them?
    For future sampling use?DJing?or the pure odd joy of them?
    Personally it's a bit of all three for me....and to use them on Mixtapes/CD's
    Country be dyin like poor people do
    Hospitals be closing...doors to me and you (Lopazz - Blood)

    And here's some other stuff that i get up to...

    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Serio...796469?fref=ts

    Comment


    • #3
      For you - Anthony Newley tells the ultimate love story. Based on the book by Jennings Cobb
      A very sensitive and intense tale of love, lust and heartbreak. Has two funky drum breaks. Love the part where he describes his woman taking a bath: "Your thighs unite in that ever victorious V"... !

      National graphic - Sounds of the space age - From Sputnik to lunar landing - 7" flexi disc
      A narration about the space race by Col. Frank Borman, USAF astronaut

      Comment


      • #4
        Part of the reason I buy these kinds of things is the...erm...'historical' value - in that you kind of wonder who decided it would be a good idea to make them, why, who they thought would buy them etc etc etc.

        They seem to confirm that - yes - it is a weird and wonderful world out there. So go home and listen to your records.
        Mixes, compilations and the like

        Comment


        • #5
          Originally posted by Shiftless When Idle
          The question i got for all you spoken word freaks is why do you buy them?
          For future sampling use?DJing?or the pure odd joy of them?
          Personally it's a bit of all three for me....and to use them on Mixtapes/CD's
          It's the pure odd joy of it all.... I love finding records and the first thought that comes into my head is 'you're joking surely?' and it gets even better if they aren't joking , and I find myself thinking 'what were they thinking?', 'who did they think would buy this...?'. ( at full price obviously ).

          I suppose that I still harbour a fantasy of one day having the right equipment to sample and use all this stuff, but at the moment I'm happy to have it sitting on the shelf ready to freak out the poor buggers that come round every couple of weeks to play poker... It's great to see people try and keep a poker face when the beatle barkers or some other oddness is playing in the background... but eventually they snap and it's back to the quality tunes....
          In ((( VISUAL ))) Stereo

          Eclectic Mud


          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by someblokecalledfuz
            It's the pure odd joy of it all.... I love finding records and the first thought that comes into my head is 'you're joking surely?' and it gets even better if they aren't joking , and I find myself thinking 'what were they thinking?', 'who did they think would buy this...?'. ( at full price obviously ).....

            Right on the button.... PLUS of course.... the sheer entertainment value!

            'Children Talking' played at 2.00am on a Sunday morning to a room of 'chilled' friends hits the giggling spot every time.

            Found a really SCARY one recently....a guy called John Rydgren; an American evangelist who talks over stuff like Music To Watch Girls By, Rinky Dink and the Electric Prunes.

            Meant to convert all to God but he ends up sounding like a stalking pervert.

            Scarier than Ken Nordine even. Highly recommended, naturally.
            <<Soul Strut 100>>Collectable CDs 1 Forumusic: April 2014 Collectable CDs 2<<'95 WOF>>

            Comment


            • #7
              Does anyone know the spoken word sample source from ADVENTURES ON THE WHEELS OF STEEL when the old boy is talking to the two kids. I seem to remember something about a Disney record but it's a bit vague.

              Thanks in advance.

              Comment


              • #8
                Originally posted by kikat
                Does anyone know the spoken word sample source from ADVENTURES ON THE WHEELS OF STEEL when the old boy is talking to the two kids. I seem to remember something about a Disney record but it's a bit vague.

                Thanks in advance.
                'Let me tell you a story...'? It's the Hellers LP, not Disney. I'm afraid I don't actually have the record so I can't help more than that but I'm sure a little light Googling will turn it up...
                You freeking scientologists are all the same, quible, dribble and then demand ice creams. Ohhhhhhhhhhh.

                Comment


                • #9
                  god botherer

                  Originally posted by Ian Townsend
                  Right on the button.... PLUS of course.... the sheer entertainment value!

                  'Children Talking' played at 2.00am on a Sunday morning to a room of 'chilled' friends hits the giggling spot every time.

                  Found a really SCARY one recently....a guy called John Rydgren; an American evangelist who talks over stuff like Music To Watch Girls By, Rinky Dink and the Electric Prunes.

                  Meant to convert all to God but he ends up sounding like a stalking pervert.

                  Scarier than Ken Nordine even. Highly recommended, naturally.
                  I PICKED THIS UP FROM THE FREAK EMPORIUM - A SERIOUSLY DISTURBIBG YET ENJOYABLE SPIN !!!

                  JUST PICKED A RECORD UP TODAY...WHY KIDS GO WRONG !

                  IT IS CHILDERN TALKING ON LSD !

                  SOME GEEZER TAKES LSD,CHOPS UP THE FAMILY CAT AND EATS IT-RAW !
                  BEST POUND I'VE SPENT IN DAYS....
                  Rockwell
                  Banned (DJ Anchovy)

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Rich Hero
                    'Let me tell you a story...'? It's the Hellers LP, not Disney. I'm afraid I don't actually have the record so I can't help more than that but I'm sure a little light Googling will turn it up...

                    Thanks for the info.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by Rich Hero
                      'Let me tell you a story...'? It's the Hellers LP, not Disney. I'm afraid I don't actually have the record so I can't help more than that but I'm sure a little light Googling will turn it up...
                      Rich is spot on - it's by The Hellers and is called Singers, Talkers, Players and Doers or something like that. There's a seven of it too, but not the "story" tune which I think is called Life Story. It's a nice LP too.
                      Errr..Hambone?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Originally posted by Ian Townsend
                        Found a really SCARY one recently....a guy called John Rydgren; an American evangelist who talks over stuff like Music To Watch Girls By, Rinky Dink and the Electric Prunes.

                        Meant to convert all to God but he ends up sounding like a stalking pervert.

                        Scarier than Ken Nordine even. Highly recommended, naturally.
                        Ian,

                        Did you find an original Sillhouette Segments or is it the bootleg? That album is grrrrreat!

                        I love how he says it's OK to perve on the ladies cause God made them nice to look at.

                        Jamie.
                        https://soundcloud.com/basicbasic

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Originally posted by Sergio Paradise
                          Ian,

                          Did you find an original Sillhouette Segments or is it the bootleg? That album is grrrrreat!

                          I love how he says it's OK to perve on the ladies cause God made them nice to look at.

                          Jamie.

                          S'definitely a bootleg...spanking new vinyl and sleeve. Found it at an MK booter back in February.

                          It IS a brilliant listen.

                          My partner gave it the usual sigh and 'oh no, what sh** have you bought now? Then listened, mouth agape, to the whole thing (& played it to her mates later that week).

                          I love the way he pauses to say 'Rinky Dink' and the VERY scary 'Music To Watch Girls' track. Got a nice A4 orange photocopied insert with it too explaining each track.

                          Relieved there's a couple of others here on VV who've been completely weirded out by it too!
                          <<Soul Strut 100>>Collectable CDs 1 Forumusic: April 2014 Collectable CDs 2<<'95 WOF>>

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