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The Seven Levels of "Wife Bothering Jazz..."

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  • The Seven Levels of "Wife Bothering Jazz..."

    "WIFE BOTHERING JAZZ..."

    A term coined by 'plussers to best describe levels of improvisation, polyrhythms and general free-ness of that swinging musical style we call jazz and - most importantly - how it interacts sonically with 'er indoors...

    For starters, here is a Rioja-fuelled and hastily-constructed 7-point scale to best objectify what we're talking about.


    Level 1 ... Tut Worthy (example - she enters room, tuts unapprovingly at audible jazz, exits stage left)

    Level 2 ... Brow Furrower

    Level 3 ... Head Shake Inducer

    Level 4 ... Pointed Request Generator (example "can you turn that shit off" during car journey)

    Level 5 ... Doors To Automatic And Cross Check

    Level 6 ... Lawyering Up

    Level 7 ... Sun Ra (example - Sun Ra)


    As stated by The Mack earlier today - "Expectation is that the scale is as close to empirical and objective as is possible. Purely basing the assessment on a subjective measurement of the variance between you and your respective other half's view cannot and should not be relied upon.."

    Post up your thoughts / examples and I'll amend the scale...
    If you're looking for a pristine copy then this isn't the one for you. The vinyl looks like someone has polished their brickwork with it and the label has been ruined by some fool with a pen.

  • #2
    Don Cherry & Krzysztof Pendercki - Actions For Free Jazz Orchestra. Some "add lawyer to speed dial" music right there.



    Cecil Taylor - Indent for a solid 5, advancing to 6 depending on how long this survives on the turntable.

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    • #3
      It very much depends on the wife and the situation.
      My partner, for example, can go entire days listening to sitars and tambora drones,which, to be quite honest, start driving me nuts after about half an hour. My Alice Coltrane stuff is basically hers now as a result.
      She also loves Sun Ra´s bits on Walt Dickerson´s Impressions of a Patch of Blue lp, and is generally fairly skronk-tolerant.
      Timbales are another story. She will patiently tolerate skittery latin percussion as a martyr tolerates the flames licking around their feet, but the minute Tito starts letting it roll the screaming begins.
      Vardy.....¡¡¡PELIGRO!!!

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Sonovox View Post
        Don Cherry & Krzysztof Pendercki - Actions For Free Jazz Orchestra. Some "add lawyer to speed dial" music right there.
        and there's one great thing about the scale.

        once you agree the major points on it, you could debate endlessly where to place particular pieces/ artists. just like jazz, baby.

        as an aside, "Daisy McKee" off the Cherry/ Penderecki thing is, to me, no higher than a 4, prob leaning to a 3.

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        • #5
          My wife likes free jazz so I can't contribute direct experience, but I was wondering where on this scale would something like surreptitious lowering of volume through crafty use of remote control fall? The music is tolerated within strict limits. So, level 1 or 2 maybe?
          Dave Lee Roth, I Too Am Running With This Devil Of Which You Speak (sic)

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          • #6
            I don´t actually think it´s John Coltrane who´s doing the bothering here.

            "It angries up the blood"

            Vardy.....¡¡¡PELIGRO!!!

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Milesago View Post
              My wife likes free jazz so I can't contribute direct experience, but I was wondering where on this scale would something like surreptitious lowering of volume through crafty use of remote control fall? The music is tolerated within strict limits. So, level 1 or 2 maybe?
              i think you need to come up with a behavioural scale to explore this properly.

              i imagine the honest, hard working people/ music lovers/ workshy fops of this parish are on the receiving end of all manner of misanthropic unpleasantness in their pursuit of musical pleasure.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by alanmck View Post
                ... on the receiving end of all manner of misanthropic unpleasantness in their pursuit of musical pleasure.
                "please turn that shit off"
                If you're looking for a pristine copy then this isn't the one for you. The vinyl looks like someone has polished their brickwork with it and the label has been ruined by some fool with a pen.

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by alanmck View Post
                  as an aside, "Daisy McKee" off the Cherry/ Penderecki thing is, to me, no higher than a 4, prob leaning to a 3.
                  Side 1 uses retrogressive and unmanly elements such as melody

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                  • #10
                    Originally posted by Sie Vulture View Post
                    "please turn that shit off"
                    Ssuperglue is NOT PVA. it is a weapon.

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                    • #11
                      Another great one is the 'Is this The Fall?' redux, which is code for 'what is this shit, you know I hate this shit, it sets my teeth on edge please turn it off now!!' A vast sea of diverse music (though mostly rock music with a vague post-punk feel) recorded from the mid-60s right through to the 90s is referenced and dismissed in this way. There must be a free jazz equivalent?

                      I have that Don Cherry - Penderecki LP. Think I played it once!
                      Dave Lee Roth, I Too Am Running With This Devil Of Which You Speak (sic)

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                      • #12
                        Level 8 - "Either the records go or I do"
                        some times play g+ with back noise,some times vg , super psyché juju lpfront sleeve is very nice vg back vg , but the top corne left is eating buy rats, ask for picture

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by medlar View Post
                          Level 8 - "Either the records go or I do"
                          see...

                          Originally posted by Sie Vulture View Post
                          Level 6 ... Lawyering Up

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                          • #14
                            Most of this scale is of course applicable to all genres of music. It's only really Level 7 that sets jazz apart.
                            Spirit Duplicator—collectable, charming, affordable... and also socially networked on FB / Twitter / Instagram.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by alanmck View Post
                              see...
                              Yes I did notice that, and thought of the Sun Ra cause and the divorce proceedings effect
                              some times play g+ with back noise,some times vg , super psyché juju lpfront sleeve is very nice vg back vg , but the top corne left is eating buy rats, ask for picture

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